When I became a stay-at-home mom 2 years ago, it was more out of necessity than choice. I enjoyed my daughter, but I didn’t know the first thing about it. My parents both worked, and I’d always seen myself as a career woman so I’d never really prepared for this scenario… but how hard could it be??
I knew how to do this. All I had to do was clean the house and keep Alexa entertained. So I began… I cleaned every minute of the day — or tried — and tried to entertain Alexa in the meantime. It was exhausting. It was frustrating. It was impossible. I started to hate my new lot in life. I couldn’t do this! But I didn’t know any other way, so I kept it up… frustrated every day that I couldn’t get Alexa to entertain herself while I cleaned. And it became even more impossible when Chris was born.
I don’t know what happened that changed my perspective on this, but I know it was recent. I stopped cleaning, and started trying to enjoy the kids. Did my house fall apart? No. Did my husband come home every day wondering why the laundry wasn’t done? Nope. Did I feel like my chest was gonna explode every second of the day? Not anymore. It was amazing, the weight that was lifted.
I’m blessed to have a husband who understands that his family is his job. He goes to work, then rushes home to help me do dinner, dishes and laundry. He says my job is to nurture, love and enjoy the kids. I don’t sit on my butt all day – I have the time to throw a load of laundry in while the kids are both playing independently, and I can do the dishes with Chris in a sling… but those aren’t my daily goals. My daily goal is to love the kids, maybe do some fun projects, and watch them play. I have the privilege of staying home with my kids. I get to see every developmental milestone Chris accomplishes, and I get to be the first one to see Alexa’s crazy dance moves. That is my job description. I’m a mommy, not a maid. And now that I realize that, I love my job! Because, the truth of the matter is, whether we get our clothes off a hanger every morning or out of the dryer, we’ll never get today back. Today is happening right now, and it’ll be over before we know it, so I’m not gonna waste it. Now, in favor of enjoying my husband when he gets home, I do try to do those things… to honor him, I’d like for him to come home to a house that isn’t messy… but that’s what naptime is for. And if it doesn’t get done, but I’ve enjoyed the kids, my day has been complete. Productivity is overrated. I can be productive when the kids are grown, because there will still be laundry when they’re in college… but they’ll only be 4 and 4 months for a little while, and I refuse to miss it.